Superpower #12: Belovedness

You have been with your boyfriend Owen since you were both just sophomores. In the tumultuous years of high school, this is quite an achievement of maturity and devotion and there has been a lot of talk in our family about whether you have managed to find your person at the tender age of 15. Of course, there is no way to predict how life will unfold over the next several years and I have been careful from the start about putting any pressure on you as your relationship has grown and evolved. In fact, when we were in Hawaii for spring break, you mentioned that his family occasionally makes comments like “we hope you are our daughter-in-law someday” and you worried that since we never said that we didn’t like Owen as much as Owen’s family likes you. I rushed to assure you that, of course, we love Owen, but we never wanted you to feel any pressure to stay with him because of us. We also talked at length about whether you planned to try and stay together throughout your college careers. He will be staying in Dubuque to play basketball for Loras and you, obviously are heading to St. Louis to play there. 5 hours apart is a lot, especially at this pivotal moment in your lives. But it is possible. It may even be likely.

I was hesitant about writing this for you in case it doesn’t work out. I’ll print these nonsense musings in a book for you someday, and if your future husband isn’t Owen, it may seem like a weird thing to have in a tribute book from a mother to a daughter.

But there is no doubt that your relationship with Owen has been an important and central part of your high school experience, so I decided to include it here. You certainly have the superpower of inciting loyalty and love. My editing software says “belovedness” is not a real word, but I am included it in your list of superpowers anyway. You are dearly loved by that friendly, gangly young man of yours. It is a wonderful thing to see that kind of devotion in his eyes when he looks at you.

A few years ago (pre-Owen) you met a young man on vacation in Jamaica. It was utterly innocent (at least as far as I know). It started when we were all playing sand volleyball on the beach and he and his dad joined our family game. Later that day, you happened to meet up in the pool and played catch with a football for hours (even through a fairly substantial downpour that sent most of us sun worshipping vacationers darting for cabanas and hotel rooms). Of course you inspired his attention, being both stunningly beautiful in your bikini, incredibly athletic in every game you undertook, and friendly and charming on top of that. Later that night as we waited for our table at one of the resort restaurants, your young man bravely sought you out in your gaggle of siblings to ask for your snapchat. We teased you a bit, but you clearly inspired that bravery, dare I say what might have bloomed into belovedness had your hometowns not been several thousand miles apart. We told Owen about it and asked if he’d ever picked up a vacation girlfriend. “Oh, that kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me,” he said. Somehow in that humble comment, he made it clear that he felt lucky to have you, and he knew he was swinging above his weight class by winning you over. As your mom, I am certainly biased, but I would say you are the better half.

A lot of the kids call you my favorite and this isn’t true. I always say you are in my top 5, but I truly don’t have any favorites. Once, when we were at a delightfully themed “frog catching and wine drinking party” at one of my friend’s homes, she also asked if you were my favorite. I was honestly a bit shocked (do other mothers admit to such a thing?), so I denied it as I always do. 

“She would be my favorite,” she said without hesitation. I snapped a picture that day, and I can't find it, but in so many photos of you over the years it’s easy to see why from the outside looking in, you would be the most beloved. You are easy to love. It is truly and unavoidably one of your superpowers. You have been a delight to parent across the years. You are a delight to befriend, to adore, to date. It’s just who you are. You invite love. This is no small superpower. Indeed, it may be the greatest one so far.

When I was a senior in high school I came across these words in the gospel of John, “my dear people, let us love one another because GOD IS LOVE.”  Now you see those words on bumper stickers, but back then I remember being utterly flabbergasted.  Our God IS LOVE?  Becoming a mother helped me understand that concept a bit more, though it will obviously remain something of a mystery forever. Being loved, and loving others, is actually the whole point. And having belovedness—not just by your mother who would love you anyway, or by your God who loves everyone—as one of your superpowers is no small thing. It is one of the reasons I can find it in me to let you go in a few months. With history as a guide, I know you will go forward to be adored and loved by so many new people, and that is a remarkable superpower indeed.