Superpower #8: Focus

Perhaps one of your most unsung superpowers is your power of focus. This is not the first characteristic that one might think of when listing your many wonderful qualities, but it is one that I am continually impressed with. You will graduate from high school this coming weekend and I can count on one hand the number of times I have witnessed you opening a book or sitting down to complete a project or homework. You are a lot like your two brothers in this; both of them manage to earn excellent grades and glowing teacher conferences without ever showing much effort at home. Your sisters are more visibly engaged in their schooling, at least as evidenced by the amount of time I observe them working at home.

You are also incredibly busy and always have been. You have balanced travel sports since you were in 6^th grade and have always played for a team that practiced over an hour away. Layer this on top of your 3 school sports (volleyball, basketball, and soccer), a full course load of honors classes (in which you earn nearly perfect grades), a vibrant social calendar and lots of friends, and a boyfriend for the last 2 ½ years. You always make so much time for fun and adventure; it is continually surprising to me how very focused you must be to pull this all off. 

I chose to write about this superpower today because I have a confession to make. It is May 14. You will graduate in 6 days, and I am not even halfway through my commitment of 25 letters to you. I am fully cramming after what amounts to two academic semesters of procrastination on this project. It is not for lack of desire, but simply because We. Are. So. Busy. We are so busy living this wonderful life that I haven’t had much time for reflecting on and documenting it.

And yet, all through the hectic seasons we have come through, you have been writing and working, calculating and solving, investigating and completing. I could potentially argue that I had a full-time job to attend to in the hours that you spent on your education, but I think that would be too generous to me and fall short of recognizing what an impressive job you have done at focusing on your tasks at hand, month by month as the days raced on.

Sometimes you have the reputation of being a bit flighty (I think you used the word “ditzy” recently). You are certainly full of joy and always eager for fun. But you have an iron-clad focus that you rely on to take care of all expectations, assignments, and requirements with ruthless efficiency. I think you learned a long time ago that to make room in your life for the things you love most (sports, time with friends, Netflix, relaxation, adventures), you needed to be laser focused on expectations during your school day. Indeed, teachers tell us that you concentrate determinedly during work times when a deadline is approaching. This is extraordinarily commendable and will serve you very well in the years to come, both in college and in your later life. Next year, you will balance the demands of another intense schedule requiring many hours in the gym and weight room in service of your basketball scholarship and (oh yeah!) your pursuit of a college degree. Successful people like you know how to focus, and I’m so impressed and proud of your cultivation of this superpower over your academic career so far.

I wish I had shown the same amount of discipline in the writing of this book for you. Instead, I’ll be cramming over the next few weeks to write 2 letters a week. If I do this, I will complete the project by the 4^th of July, which will give me about 6 weeks to get the book printed in order to give it to you before you leave. It’s not an ideal scenario, but here we are.

If only time travel with passengers were one of your superpowers. And if only I had the same level of focus as you. Perhaps, as was my original intent, I could hand you this book next Sunday, completed and full of my love and dreams for you just after you’ve walked across that stage beaming your megawatt smile. Alas, instead I’ll be cramming and typing furiously every day for the next 7 weeks or so.

If it makes you feel any better, I did the same thing for your brother and sister. I think the first go around with Grace I was a little more disciplined, but then Covid hit and, well, things got a little dicey after that. Like, 5 full years after that. I didn’t have a global catastrophe to blame for my procrastination with Sam and you. I guess I need a little bit of your focus power to leverage. In my defense, had I had any real deadlines (like a teacher waiting for an assignment), I’m sure I would have been more disciplined. Something about that external expectation is very motivating for me and, I suspect, you as well).  Regardless, I will focus now and finish, and I will remain in awe of your 8^th superpower through it all.

Superpower #7: Adventurousness

This week we traveled to St. Louis to visit Maryville for your college orientation. I kept waiting for some wave of sentimentality or sorrow to sweep over me, and it just never really did. You are jumping into this next chapter with all the cheerful abandon with which you approach every big adventure of your life. Your next superpower is adventurousness, and it is one that will serve you so well in the next (and all) chapters of your life.

I have a quote from a podcast I heard recently hanging on my monitor at work.  It says, “When you’re making a decision, CHOOSE THE BIGGER LIFE” (emphasis/capitals mine). This is advice I need reminding of sometimes, as I know without the nudge I may be tempted to choose comfort, routine, or a few extra hours of sleep over the next adventure. I think most people are like this.  Not you.

When you were little, I wrote this blog about taking you and your siblings to the swimming pool when you were tiny. You were probably 3. This is what I said:

All 4 kids enter the water in ways that completely illustrate their personalities:

Grace carefully tiptoes to the edge, places one foot in front of the other and raises her hands above her head. Then she rocks back and forth from one foot to the other, back and forth, back and forth. She studies the surface of the water, checks to make sure we are watching, checks the water again, then, eventually springs forward in a beautiful swimmer's dive.

Sam walks to the edge, lifts his arms, and dives. He is graceful and quick--utterly effortless and completely self-confident. His cannonball is textbook.

Claire starts as far back as she can (usually the wall) and dashes all out towards a joyful, splashy mouth open, eyes shining leap into the water. She literally pushes other kids out of her way as she sprints forward.  Mama Duck: Like a duck to water

This is how you approach every challenge in your life—eyes shining, joyful, leaping.  And life welcomes you with open arms.

Around this same time, you were invited to your first sleepover. You were very young to spend the night away from home with a school friend. You always make friends effortlessly, and when your little preschool buddy invited you to spend the night you unhesitatingly agreed. As we packed your bag for your night away, I paused and looked into your eager blue eyes. “Are you scared?” I asked quietly.

You tilted your head in confusion. “No?” you said.

“Won’t you miss me?” I asked.

“No?” you said, only slightly uncertain. I realized quickly that I shouldn’t be smearing my doubts and fears all over your confident little girl self, so I quickly buried my own hesitations.
“Good!” I declared. “You are going to have an amazing time!” And you did.

I find myself wanting to have some version of this same conversation with you now. “Are you scared? Will you miss me?” But I know the answer already. Not much.

I would be oversimplifying your depth if I said that I wasn’t sure there were some uncertainties and fears lingering in the quiet places of your heart, but for the most part your fearless love of adventure is dominating your emotions about the next step, and for that I’m glad.

You are a fearless explorer, and the world loves you for it. A few years ago, I found a small decorative sign that I knew I had to buy for you.  It featured a picture of a forest with a little tent pitched near a pond containing a canoe. The caption read, “Thanks for always saying ‘sure, let’s go do that’.”

Adventurousness is one of your dearest superpowers, and it is sweeping you eagerly into the next phase.  College basketball, all new people, a new roommate, university academics, a city where we know no one?  Sure, let’s go do that!