Superpower #17: Free spiritedness

I have a confession to make; but first, I have a funny memory to share.

Many years ago, I subscribed to a magazine called "YM" (for "Young Miss"). I have no idea what might have ever prompted the subscription. No one in my family read magazines much, so I can’t imagine how it ever came to be. Regardless, I read it faithfully. It contained the usual teen girl blather—makeup tips and updates on pop stars and relationship advice. I vividly recall one tidbit of wisdom that I pulled from its pages (beyond a few outdated makeup techniques that I’ve never quite managed to banish from my limited lexicon of tricks). The article I remember provided tips and tricks for transitioning to college and contained this little gem that I’ll paraphrase here. “To offset homesickness, feel free to remember the things about home and your family that really frustrate or irritate you. In the moments when you feel sad because you haven’t seen your little brother, recall how he put a frog in your bed or barged into your room without knocking. If you miss your mom, remember how annoying she was when you were on the phone with your friends or how often she yelled at you to clean your room.” At the time, I thought that was pretty smart advice, and though I never suffered too much homesickness in college because I was too busy having the time of my life, I nevertheless found myself referring to it every now and then when I’d get a brief wave of nostalgia.

I have pulled out this bit of advice a time or two over the last 5 years as I have adapted to having your sister and brother away at college. I reminded myself of it regularly over the course of the last school year when I would find myself waxing nostalgic about one of your many “lasts” during senior year. And you know what I most often reminded myself of when I felt sad about missing your sense of adventure and joy and fun next year when you are away at college? I reminded myself that you were also taking your 17th superpower with you when you leave next month—free-spiritedness.

Just kidding. I’m using “free spiritedness” as a fill-in for what I really mean, and for what is most definitely one of your most epic superpowers: MESSINESS! Oh, my Claire-a-belle, you are SO messy. You leave little reminders of yourself ALL OVER MY HOUSE. You borrow my things, and they are never seen again. You use my bathroom to get ready and leave at least 10 products and beauty tools lying around, along with used tissues and cotton balls and contact lenses. When you make your way through your day, you leave little piles of evidence as to your activities in every spot. Oh! There’s where you had a bowl of yogurt and fruit and took off your socks! Oh, there’s where you worked for a while on a painting project. Oh, there’s where you took a nap with my favorite blanket and borrowed my charger.  You (and your brother, though he’s been out of the house for over 3 years now) are by far my messiest children.

I am reframing this “messiness” superpower as free spiritedness, and I believe this is a reasonable connection. Years ago I bought a little wooden sign that read “A clean house is a wasted life.” I think this accurately sums up your perspective on the topic. You have better things to do than put your socks and dirty dishes away. Your distractible spirit has moved on to something fun and adventurous long before it would occur to you to clean up after yourself. It’s part of the whole package that is my beloved daughter, so I take it for what it is worth.

I also admit that you come by this superpower honestly. I was exactly like you at your age, and I drove my poor, tidy mom to total distraction with my laissez faire attitude toward cleanliness. Lucky for you, I understand this inclination as it is one I have fought hard to contain in my adult life. Your dad, too, is quite a slob, leaving piles of dirty laundry, dishes, wrappers, and paperwork in his wake as he moves through his life. I’m quite fortunate that all my children aren’t this (ahem) free-spirited since if genetics weren’t the weird mystery that they are, I may have had quite a few more messes to deal with.

When you were a toddler, you earned yourself the nickname "Taz" (short for the Tasmanian Devil--a Warner Brothers cartoon character that you may not be familiar with). The original Tasmanian devil was a whirling, wild man of a character who blew in and out of his friends' lives with almost no dialogue and leaving a path of destruction behind. This was you as a toddler. You were so insatiably curious and confident, and in this curiosity and total lack of hesitation, you emptied drawers and cupboards all over the houses of our friends and family. Even today, all of my lower drawers and cupboards contain safe items like dishtowels and Tupperware that can be easily tidied up after what is now a distant memory of your onslaught on the drawers and shelves you could reach. Sometimes dad and I joke that we can't wait until you get your first apartment because we have so much payback planned.  It's a sweet and funny memory, now, but at the time your energy and messiness could be pretty overwhelming. We even bought you a t-shirt back then that said, "My parents are exhausted." I must admit, that your (ahem) free-spiritedness still has the power to exhaust me today.

So back to my confession from the beginning of this post: in this one way, I am looking forward to your moving out in a few weeks. I will miss so much about you, your joy and your kindness and your charm and your wit and your sense of adventure and optimism. There are so many superpowers that fill our home with light and laughter and I will miss them, and you, like crazy.

But I won’t miss the many, many (many, many, many) messes. It’s one superpower that you are welcome to take (and keep) with you.