Dear Sam,
Over the course of these letters, I have expressed multiple times how
your relationship with sports is a lot different than that of your sisters and
brother. My experience with sports and
exercise has been more like that of your siblings. I was an enthusiastic high school and college
athlete, and I have remained fairly committed to exercise throughout my adult
life (with a brief respite in the years when you babies were coming so fast and
furiously, and again in recent years as I’ve worked to rehab after my
surgeries).
You, on the other hand, have been a fairly casual athlete—participating willingly
in a handful of sports, namely basketball as well as a few years of high school
tennis. You played for fun and for the
social connections, but without some of the devoted passion that your sisters
and I shared for our sports. You are an
excellent athlete in your own right, but as I’ve noted, you just never seemed
to feel particularly compelled to put much more of yourself into the game than
was necessary.
Out of season, you’ve been a pretty unreliable exerciser. More often than not, if I hear music pumping
in our basement gym, it will be your dad or one of the older girls down there,
and not you. On occasion, I have found
you there, and it made me very happy. So
here’s the crux of the situation: as
your mom, I know without a shadow of a doubt that you are much happier and more
content when you are exercising regularly.
Studies are now showing that regular physical activity is as reliable as
medication in maintaining mental well-being, but even without the recent
headlines, I have known for years that you, personally, are better when you
exercise.
Years ago, we signed you and your sister up for the local swim team. While she took to it readily, and indeed
spent many years practicing and competing, you never really cared for it. I made you participate, however, figuring
first that it was important that all my kids be excellent swimmers (it was
years before we bought the lake house, but I believe swimming is a life skill
that is important to cultivate early in life) and second, if I had to make the
trek over to the local pool several nights a week, I might as well drop two
kids as one. At first you were amenable,
but eventually you rebelled pretty mightily.
It was quite a challenge to drag you up to the pool every week, and we
endured a lot of verbal abuse and complaining on those nights. Eventually, I relented, and insisted you
finish the session I had already paid for, and then agreed to release you from
the commitment. We endured the final few
months, and notably after your last race you climbed resolutely out of the
pool, ripped your goggles off your curly head, hurled them to the pool deck,
and angrily snapped, “I’m DONE with this!”
before stomping off to the locker room.
You never went back.
But what you may not remember is that when you came home from swim
practice, you were invariably in an unbelievably good mood. You could be a rather surly and sullen guy,
especially in those turbulent middle school years, but following a healthy workout,
your demeanor notably improved. You
hated it when we pointed it out, but I remember it vividly. It was so pronounced, that I seriously
considered making your punishment over the years some kind of physical activity
(a mile on the treadmill, or a walk around the block) just to rescue you (and
us!) from your black moods.
So, before you go, exercise! Make
working out a priority in your life, more than anything because it will make
you calmer, more optimistic, and overall happier. I have also noted regularly how handsome you
are. In spite of less than stellar
(though altogether fairly typical teenage boy) eating habits, you remain long
and lean. Depending on how the next few
years go (you are probably at fairly typical risk of the freshman fifteen), you
may not need exercise to help you stay good looking. But I know for a fact that your personal
happiness will be significantly improved with regular workouts. Before you go, get some exercise!
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