Before you go #13: Get in the picture!

Dear Sam,

One of the best reasons I had for falling behind on your senior blog was beach vacation!  By some miracle, your sister’s spring break coincided with the rest of us, so we were able to book a week at an all inclusive in Jamaica.  Every time we manage to get all of you together, I worry that it will be our last chance—indeed it gets harder to wrangle all of your schedules every year.  Next year, you’ll be at a different college, and the odds of two colleges aligning with our local school district seems pretty unlikely.  So we opted for a big finale (though if life delivers a few curtain calls in the coming years, I know I, for one, won’t complain.  You might, however).  We did give your older sister the option not to attend this year, telling her we would understand if she preferred to spend the week with her friends somewhere.  “My friends don’t pay,” she deadpanned, so it was all lucky 7 of us reunited for a week in paradise.  I suppose we will have to offer you the same courtesy (a nod to your growing up) next year, and my guess is even the promise of a free vacation won’t lure you into spending a week with us.

Even though you still live with us and we are, technically, still in charge of your comings and goings, you tried to opt out this year.  We refused your request.  You may not want to be around us, but we—especially I—still desperately crave your presence at all family events.  I just bought new bedding for our bed and it included a pillow stitched with the phrase “together is my favorite place”.  Belatedly, I realized that the singular “my” should probably have been “our” (especially since I share the bed with your dad), but I quickly acknowledged that “my” (singular) is probably more accurate.  I am happiest when you are all with me, though it has admittedly always been difficult to find activities that all enjoy together.  With 5 children and no doubles among you, we have always struggled with family friendly activities.  There are almost 9 years separating the oldest and youngest, and what appeals to toddlers rarely appeals to middle schoolers, and what captivates a middle schooler can be awfully boring to a college student.  As you and your sister approach adulthood, the gap can feel very wide indeed.

Nevertheless, together—on a beach—is my absolute favorite place to be, so since I’m still the official boss of everyone, and paying the bill—we spent spring break together.   Mealtimes—particularly dinners—were my favorite hours spent at the resort.  At an all inclusive, we all feel freed from limitations and cost—don’t like the steak?  Have them bring you the chicken!  No need to fight over appetizers, we can order as many more as you would like!  Don’t like what they’re serving at the Italian restaurant?  We can swing by the buffet after this and find something you prefer!  And also, since we all need to eat, gathering everyone around a table at least once a day was a universally enjoyable experience.  Not that you all didn’t grumble a bit—some inherent resistance seems deeply wired into a teenager’s DNA—but once we were seated and chatting, all that discord fell away for the most part. 

Scrolling through our photos from this vacation, however, I noticed one disappointing, but not altogether unexpected, fact.  You were notably absent from a lot of the photos, and scowling or turning away from many others.  For some reason, even saturated in the selfie obsessed Snapchat generation you inhabit, you hate having me take your photo.  You grudgingly smile for the occasional group photo because the only thing I like better than all of you together is a photo commemorating the event.  And I got a number of beautiful shots of you and your beautiful siblings on beaches and in front of waterfalls on this vacation.  I cherish these photos; I hope you know that.

So, before you go, get in the photo!  Next year, send me pictures of you in the cafeteria and in the library and at football games and keg parties (hey—I went to college, too.  I know how it works).  Get in the photo and take me there with you.  Thanks for letting me take all the snapshots I am so proud to show here.  Before you go, get in the photo!