Locker room incident

 Tonight was Sammy's basketball game. With much planning, we managed to arrive about 25 minutes early (straight from school and work) and proceeded in our usual chaotic, meandering way to descend upon the locker room to change into our athletic clothes from our school and work uniforms. We were our usual noisy, messy selves, bickering and bossing, making our gradual way towards our goal--Sam and I in athletic attire, 5 coats hung in the lockers, quick snack consumed on the fly. There was another mom in the locker room with us--a couple of cute 5 or 6 year old girls and a diapered toddler boy in tow, changing dutifully into swimsuits. To be honest, I took little notice of her, only meeting her eyes once. I sensed a sort of weird vibe from her, sort of irritated or pointed or something, but I was far too exhausted and consumed with herding my ducks to pay much attention.

Fifteen minutes later I was busy settling my girls on the sidelines and getting Sammy onto the court in his yellow jersey when I was tapped on the shoulder. This cute little gal started telling me about the "family locker room" and how I could access it whenever I needed to. "We really recommend it for families with little boys," she persisted chippily. Wait a minute. What? Are you serious? My 6 year old son was being reprimanded for coming into the girls' locker room with his mother?

"We've had a complaint," the woman said sheepishly. My temper flared around my obvious confusion.

"She had a son, too," I snapped, unnecessarily, I know. "He was younger than mine, but she had a boy in the locker room, too," I repeated.

The girl was instantly abashed, and I retreated immediately. "It's okay," I told her. "Really, I know you have to say something. We'll use the other locker room from now on. I'm just saying," I muttered, as I walked away. But I have grown increasingly annoyed as the night has worn on.

I don't know for sure, but I am pretty certain that the "family locker room" is a converted handicap bathroom. There is one in the entire facility. I have no problem using it, really. As long as it is available when I need it, (though visions of stressed out mothers of sons over a certain dangerous age--I don't know--5? standing in an endless line waiting desperately to take their little perverts to the bathroom or to change into their gym shorts can't help but fill my mind).

I am just annoyed by the sheer audacity and insanity of it all. It's not that I haven't thought about this before (remember the Garden of Eden post a year or so ago?), it's just that I don't see any feasible alternative. Beyond the implications of safety involved with sending a 1st grade boy into a boys or men's locker room alone, there are the simple practical considerations. Is there a 6 year old on the PLANET (male or female) capable of changing his clothes, keeping track of every item he removes, and not succumbing to the siren song of an infinite array of unsupervised mischief (unattended toilet paper! 6 showers all in a row! Lockers I can fit inside!)? I'm sure they exist, but like most families, we were on a schedule, and even if I could keep him from messing around and somehow keeping track of his crap completely unattended, there is no way he could do it in any reasonable amount of time. Even assuming he could defend himself from any potential real threats to his innocence, should the unlikely and unthinkable occur.

I am also the mother of many daughters, please remember. I am every bit as concerned about their modesty as I am their brother. But he is 6--HE IS 6!! Not to mention the fact that he has taken about 3 baths his entire life unaccompanied by a female. And that he was infinitely more concerned during our brief locker room time with the distribution of fruit snacks and pretzels and whether he had to tie his own shoes than he was in noticing any little half dressed vixens that might have shared his space.

Mothers of daughters, please give those of us with little boys a break. We already have to deal with getting peed on during every diaper change, potty training months later than your girls, learning about such weird toys as bakugan and beyblades (trust me--learning the names of the half dozen or so Disney princesses is cake compared to remembering ben's 10 alien forces) and dealing with the noise, the mess, the sheer masculine energy of these little men. Don't also make us worry about offending or threatening your little princesses. Trust me--the risks inherent in their catching a glimpse of a little extra skin are far less pervasive than the risk to your precious daughters should they lay a finger on his fruit snacks!!