Things I never imagined I would say

1. "Claire, come here and clean up your worm water before your sister falls in it" (April 8).

2. In reference to yogurt discovered unrefrigerated in the garage one week after our trip to the grocery store, "No, Claire. You can't eat that. Um. It has worms in it." (April 9: Claire's response, "oh. I squish them up?" Me: "You're going to eat them?" Claire: "Yeah. I'm a boy?" Me: "Boys eat worms?" Claire (emphatically): "Yeah!!")

3. "No, Sammy. You cannot do an explosion. We are going to Grandma's house for supper and we are leaving right now." (Note to reader: I do not know what "do an explosion" means either). (April 11).

4. "Do NOT put your sister in the patio cushion storage bin. I don't CARE if she likes it!" (April 11).

5. "No, Grace, Sister Marilyn is not a 'num'--it's 'nun'" (Note to reader: either the shortage of religious in our Church is really getting serious, or our family catechesis needs a little work) (April 14).

6. "Claire, what happened to your ponytail? Oh, you dropped it?" (April 15).

7. "Sam, did you say Lucy put her hands or her pants in the toilet? Was there poop or pee in it? Oh, ok then." (Sam's answers: hands, no) (April 15).

8. "Guys! You can't play with those and you have to wear clothes!" (April 15).

9. "Sammy, are you okay? Did you burn your wenis?" (April 17: Note: wenis is Sammy's word, not mine).

10. "Claire, put down the gun and then you can give Carrie a hug" (April 30).

11. "Sammy, if you don't be quiet right now you are getting a spanking. Now what did you need? Oh. Yes, I will pray with you."